What is a Healthy Relationship?

Darryl Bachmeier
Jul 8, 2020

Every relationship goes through stages, most of which come in ups and downs. It is normal for first time lovers to want to believe that their relationship has everything needed to keep them happy for a long time. But the truth is that relationships undergo changes in different facets. Partners change after a while and adopt new characters over time. It will take a great deal of commitment and willingness to pursue after this change and ensure that you adapt to these changes. In the event that one of the partners is unable to adapt, the situation becomes one in which the two become incompatible. Soon they find themselves asking, ‘How did we get here?’. This is the bedrock of an unhealthy relationship.

Nobody wants that for themselves. Unhealthy relationships are toxic and they are capable of sucking out life and love from the partners until they begin to resent each other. Many times, unhealthiness prevails because the people in the relationship have no idea of how to work together to build a healthy relationship for themselves.

No one relationship is exactly the same as any other relationship. Each one is made up of two unique people coming together to create an even more unique combination. What worked for one relationship wouldn’t necessarily work for another relationship. This is why partners need to come together and agree on how to steer their relationship in the right direction. For this to work, both parties must be willing to converse openly and honestly with each other to find new and exciting ways to make the relationship work.

Healthy relationships have some characteristics in common that make them conducive for both parties. Looking out for these characteristics in your relationship will help you find out how much work needs to be done to achieve an even healthier relationship.

People in a healthy relationship are attuned to each other emotionally. Emotional connection ensures that both partners understand how to make the other party feel loved. The problem in many unhealthy relationships isn’t that the parties aren’t trying. Many times they are trying but they see no positive results because they are doing it the wrong way, owing to the fact that they haven’t created a strong emotional connection with each other. In the absence of such, people just stay in their relationships and suffer in silence in a state of ‘peaceful’ co-existence. Unknown to them, a wide chasm exists in their union.

Being able to stay true to one’s self and maintain honest conversations is another major characteristic in a healthy relationship. It is important to be comfortable around your partner so much so that you are able to live your truth unapologetically. Constantly having to change your personality and preferences because your partner is around can be self-draining. You can’t keep up with that for too long. Openness should be employed in the sense that you are comfortable to talk about anything truthfully, ranging from worries, fears, concerns and problems.

There are only a few experiences as great as being in a relationship where there is mutual respect and trust. When we share a space with people for too long, there is high tendency to begin to take them for granted. A healthy relationship has none of that. Instead it is built on the idea that one party continues to see the other in the fullest of their potential. Wherever there is respect, there will always be trust too. These two go hand-in-hand to ensure that every aspect of the relationship remains as healthy as possible.

So what steps can be taken with your partner to foster a healthy relationship?

The most important step towards building a healthy relationship is to spend quality time with each other. Love is an investment that is paid in time, emotional support and presence. Each moment spent with your spouse or partner is an investment into the future since the both of you will look back at the past and appreciate all of the shared memories. Within the first few years of dating, the face to face conversation time between partners is replaced to text and phone calls. These are artificial communication methods in a relationship which cannot foster the physical connection built from spending quality time with each other.

Spending time with partners is an absolute necessity but people also need to have their space respected by the people they are with. No matter how close we get with others, we are still individuals who sometimes want to be left alone to figure things out ourselves. Too much attraction and closeness in a relationship can make it feel like a trap without any space to breathe. You will need to spend quality time with yourself to understand you better. One’s emotional balance may suffer the effect if they are not given enough space to be on their own, to get back to themselves every once in a while. Remember, you need to understand you better before you can even explain yourself to your partners. The You-Time affords the opportunity to do just that.

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