The ego is actually the mind identity that we create, an identity that is above all, false. You have to understand that you are more than your mind. All of us have certain beliefs when it comes to what are we. Those beliefs are about our abilities, our personality, and our talents. It’s what becomes the structure of your ego. Ego is not a static thing, but a dynamic and active part of your personality. It plays a significant role in creating the emotional drama in your life.
By agreeing to the thoughts you have about yourself, you’re constructing a self-image. There are thoughts that especially contribute to the structure of your ego. Such thoughts sound something like, “I am smart.” “I am not good at sports.” “Nobody loves me.” “My scar makes me ugly.”
Behind all these mentionings of “I” and “me” hides your ego - just like in all declarative statements and thoughts. When you agree that these thoughts define you, you’re reinforcing or building your ego. So, when did these thoughts first appeared? It’s when you were just a kid who got praised by a parent, or teased by a schoolmate. Developing a self-image is normal, and it’s a part of our socialization, but what happens when that self-image is inaccurate, overly positive, or negative?
The ego is made of all the beliefs that we acquire over life. What are those beliefs like? They are diverse and can often be contradictory. What complicates it even more is the fact that every person’s ego is actually different. Even if we knew exactly what one person’s ego is like, it wouldn’t apply to some other person. Let’s see what false self and true self are really about:
The false self is what kind of individual your mind thinks you are. Usually, people don’t see themselves as they truly are. So, the fake self isn’t about togetherness and humility. Instead, it’s about the negative stories about its very self and experiences it had. In order to feel secure and safe in the world, the false self needs to feel like “The King of the world” or “The Princess that rules the land.” It wants to be the center of attention because it’s actually longing to be heard. It’s what causes all the problems that you have been experiencing. It does so through patterns and behaviors that are self-sabotaging. Of course, you don’t need to get rid of your false self, your ego, but there’s still something you can do.
Try becoming more aware of your unconscious behavior, and yourself for that matter. You can do so by being fully present, always and in every moment, as much as you can. All you need to do is to observe and check if your behavior actually serves a powerful purpose, or it’s just your ego trying to get as much attention as it can.
The thing about ego is that you’re not conscious of it. Some of the people who have too big egos don’t even know they have them, or what an ego is for that matter. The moment you recognize your ego, it stops being what it is. All it actually is is an old pattern of the behavior you’re trying to get rid of. Imagine your body is a computer. Well, your ego is an unconscious program that is continuously running on that computer.
Do you want to know how to best loosen the grip of your ego? Like many other times in life, laughter is the best medicine. Pay attention to the next time when you feel the need to express your opinion on something that isn’t really relevant. Become aware of the egoist need and ask yourself is it really something that you want to say at that moment. Ask yourself what would happen if you would keep your thoughts for yourself. This is a great way to drop the egoist pattern, as well as laughing that I mentioned earlier. Don’t forget to laugh when you see your ego. It will surely make you get in touch with your true self.
The ego has many demands, but the true self isn’t centered on them. Instead, your true self is focused on higher values such as compassion, truth, love, and creativity. The true self is at peace because, at a deeper level of your mind, it’s connected to the source of real awareness. Ups and downs you experience in life only buffet it. There is no need for any unspoken insecurity or anxiety. There is no hole that needs to be filled with the constant pursuit of distraction and pleasure. When you listen to your true self, your life becomes devoted to expanding your consciousness, as well as growing as a person from the inside. You have a choice between the true self and ego like every one of us.
Hello there! I am a Senior Business Analyst with a passion for writing, philosophy, design and life's adventures.
2020 © Zenbo Services Ltd. All rights reserved.