Supporting Your Partner

Darryl Bachmeier
Jul 16, 2020

People enter relationships in search of a number of mutual benefits. One of such is the support that comes from having someone to lean on when we face challenges. This support isn’t one that comes occasionally. It should be something that is readily available at any time of any day. This support is needed especially when one’s partner is going through a major change or transition in their life, such as during the start of a new business or the loss of a family member. If one party in the relationship refuses to bring their own quota to the table, the other may begin to feel detached and unwanted, leading to a toxic relationship.

The support from partners can come in different forms, such as financial, emotional or spiritual support. The most important among these is the emotional support, because it serves as a basis for all the others. For example, emotional connection is the backbone for financial support. Without an emotional connection with your partner, you wouldn’t even be able to bring yourself to offer help.

At its core, emotional support is all about showing love, compassion and unconditional acceptance to the other party in the relationship. This is basically the foundation for a successful relationship, because if this kind of support isn’t created then real connection may never be fostered.

How do I know that my relationship lacks emotional support?

The first sign is that you will notice a rift between you and your partner, an unexplainable chasm that gradually tears the both of you apart. It shows itself in the reduce time spent together doing fun things or the mild irritation during a phone call. What this does is that it breeds negative emotions that are never confronted or talked about. There will be this seed of dishonesty even in conversations where the two of you will be unwilling to say what you really feel about certain topics. All of these bottled up truths only lead to the creation of more toxicity and a further dissociation between partners.

Another pointer to a lack of emotional support is that obvious lack of physical intimacy and support. Love is shown by being physically intimate with one’s partner. If one party continues to withdraw when it is time to give physical support, it only goes to show that emotional support is lacking. With a lack of physical intimacy also comes the struggle with listening problems where both parties find themselves talking to each other without actively listening. This breeds a communication barrier that causes important information to be missed.

In the presence of all of the symptoms that show a lack of emotional support, what measures can you take to create an atmosphere of support in your relationship?

Stay observant and ask questions

Learn to read your partner and find out what they are going through at any point. A relationship is a connection, and it is important that you are observant enough to figure out when your partner isn’t in their right mood. The truth is if you have fostered a strong connection someone, you should be able to tell when something is off. It is not rocket science.

Once you figure out something is wrong, ask deep questions that will get them to talk and show genuine concern with your questions. Open-ended questions are always the best for scenarios like these because they lead to free discussions where nothing can be hidden.

Asking isn’t enough. You will need to pay full attention when taking answers from your partner. It makes no sense to get him/her to open up to you while you refuse to be receptive as they answer your questions. Maintain eye contact. Sit up straight. Take your eyes off the television. Employ body language that shows understanding.

Celebrate their achievements

Sharing success stories and good news with each other is a powerful way of growing your relationship. When your partner hits a milestone, ensure that they know you are proud of their accomplishment. It can be quite saddening to share your good news with a partner and have them greet it with indifference. Don’t be that kind of partner who cares less about the other person’s success.

Don’t hesitate to highlight all of your partner’s positive qualities when praising them. Make them know that they are enough and capable of replicating the same success in the future, on an even larger scale. These things may look little, but they do a great deal of work in lifting one’s spirit and increasing self-esteem.

Take Action

It is easy to make promises to your partner, telling them about how you will always be there for them. The real support is in taking action and manifesting your promises. Don’t go for a generic response after listening to your partner complain about something. Seek out ways you can actively be of help and get to work. You may need to make some sacrifices from your time or finance, but remember that it is the least you can do. The power of any relationship is in the weight of sacrifice the parties are willing to make for each other.

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