Steps For Dealing With Betrayal

Darryl Bachmeier
Aug 8, 2019

When we think about betrayal, we instantly consider the affair. However, betrayal comes in many forms. It can be as simple as a gossip or a business betrayal that cost you millions. There are many types and all of them can cause a lot of pain, but there are steps you need to take and recover yourself. They can be used for all types of betrayal and you will be surprised how effective they are.

Leave or stay with a person who betrayed you

The first thing you must do when dealing with betrayal is to make a clear and simple decision. Can you live with the same person who betrayed you? When it comes to an affair, odds are high you will leave that person. After all, this isn’t something easy you can forgive in a matter of hours and this isn’t something many people can live with. This is a serious issue. Even worse is the fact it can happen again and again. The goal is to make up your mind and go for it. If betrayal isn’t a big problem for you and you love that person, staying with him/her is possible. If a betrayal troubles you a lot, staying in the relationship is self-sabotage. We used an affair as an example. The same facts apply to all other betrayals.

Create your own recovery plan

Let’s face it. You are hurt and you are in pain. Even if you decide to remove a person who betrayed you from your life, you will still need a recovery plan. Try to think positively and try to focus full attention on the emotions present. Consider the time you will need to heal the wounds and what you can do to make yourself feel better. Keeping a journal is a great idea and one that helped millions.

When making a plan, don’t think that betrayal says something about you. It says a lot about another person, but nothing about you. This isn’t your fault (despite the fact some people who have betrayed you will try to prove otherwise). Create the recovery plan and stick to it. Time heals even the worst wounds and will help you overcome this situation as well. Avoid negative emotions and try to stay positive. It is hard, but something you must do.

Retaliation must be avoided

All people will consider retaliation at some point. It may look like a great solution and something that will help you feel better. First of all, you only think retaliation will help you feel better. You are still hurt and doing a bad thing won’t help you feel better. The main reason why this should be avoided at all cost is additional anger and grief that will be present after retaliation. Let’s take an affair as an example once again. If you cheat, you will betray the same person who betrayed you. But, you didn’t do it first so you never wanted this. Why doing it now? Doing the wrong thing cannot make something right. You will feel even worse and you will need more time to recover. These are issues we want to solve, not prolong.

Stop mourning

This is a very important step. Once you have a plan and some time has passed, you need to simply stop mourning. Some people are bad, some are good but we all make mistakes. This is a sad reality and there is nothing you can do about it. Accept the situation as it is and focus on good things. Keep in mind that a betrayal will always stay in the past, something you don’t control. Focus your attention on the future and focus your energy on making yourself feel better. There is no specific time when you must stop mourning. For some, this happens after 2 days, while for others after 2 months. You will know when you are ready.

Start working on your faith

Dealing with betrayal is difficult but it causes one major issue. We will lose faith in people and we won’t trust others! This isn’t a smart thing to do. You cannot have a real friend or a partner if you don’t trust that person. The solution is to build up your faith once again. Start slow and take your time. Yes, you will need a lot of time to build up faith and trust, but it is worthy.

Here we can add two additional facts. You need to find people who have faith and spend some time with them. This will help you dramatically. The second thing is you need to trust yourself as well. Start with a simple promise, make sure you fulfill it, and move to the next one.


Dealing with betrayal is difficult, problematic, and complicated. But, it is also something most people must deal with at some point. Use the steps from the above and you will be fine. Always remember that time is essential and don’t try to rush things up. You will return to the previous step instead of moving forward.

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