Revenge - Why Is It Such A Bad Idea And How To Resist It

Darryl Bachmeier
Mar 19, 2020

Angry man holds knife ready to stab. Man seeks revenge for wrongdoing.

It is payback time. Someone has done you a harm, and now you want to inflict harm on him or her. You want retribution. We see it all the time in so many movies and TV shows. A man seeks revenge for what has been done to him, and he gets it. Wouldn’t you love the chance to say such powerful words now you get to have your revenge? Does revenge belong in our real lives?

We see it as a way of getting closure after we have been wronged, and it can be quite rewarding in the heat of the moment. Still, does it stay rewarding? What it actually does is prolongs the suffering of the original wrongdoing. It means that, instead of healing your wounds, you are keeping them fresh.

It re-opens your wounds and aggravates them. Therefore, in reality, you are punishing yourself instead of the one that has hurt you. However, if someone has hurt you, should you just forgive and forget? What should you do instead of seeking revenge? There is healthy revenge, and you achieve it by succeeding. Put that intensity towards growth and your goals.

By doing this, you shift focus onto you, onto your mission in life. That makes the one that has wronged you irrelevant, and that is what that person should be to you. Do not feel the need to seek revenge, replace it with the need for success. After all, as Frank Sinatra once said, the best revenge is a big success. Let us see why revenge is such a bad idea. When you feel the need for revenge, just ask yourself the following questions.

Will it make you feel better?

Revenge will sometimes seem like the logical thing to do and an inevitable reaction. You might think that it will give you satisfaction and relief. However, as I said earlier, even though it might feel good in the moment, revenge does not have a good long-lasting effect. Those who don’t forget and let go tend to feel worse over time as they do not heal their wound but keep it fresh.

Will it make you feel worse?

The truth is, any decent human being will feel bad about causing someone pain, even if they deserve it. Therefore, real life is not like the movies, and you might not enjoy the look on their face when you cause them pain. In fact, it could make you feel even worse. You could feel upset, guilty, and regretful. As you know, such feelings weight on your conscience. I know that you feel betrayed and hurt right now, but as time goes by, those feelings will stay behind you. So, do not burden your conscience with feelings of guilt, because it will last longer and make it harder for you to move on.

Could it backfire?

Think about the consequences of your actions, you might have problems because of the revenge. After all, what do you really gain by getting revenge? It is much smarter to prevent even more harm. Leave all that in the past and look forward to the good things ahead of you.

Is it a waste of time?

Does this person deserve for you to waste precious time on them? Do not forget, life is short, and planning revenge takes time. Just think of what else you could do with all that precious time. Plotting revenge makes your focus on the negative. How can you embrace positive experiences into your life if you are so focused on the negative?

How about karma?

What goes around comes around. You want to stay on the right side of karma, because it can be a bitch sometimes. After all, the person that has harmed you. Karma will get them. Everyone gets what is coming to him or her; you just need to leave it to karma. Karma will do the dirty work for you, while you go ahead and enjoy your life.

Do two wrongs make a right?

Whatever this bad person did to you, can you really undo it? Getting revenge will not undo what has been done, and you have to accept that. Decide to be the bigger person and move on with your life. You cannot change the past, but you can definitely choose what your future is going to look like. Choose wisely.

Could you be caught in a revenge loop?

As Gandhi once said, an eye for an eye would leave the whole world blind. It is true. What if you get your revenge? Then that person seeks revenge for your revenge. It could go on forever. You could be caught in an endless loop. All it does is cause even more pain. Make an effort to leave the negativity in the past. Do not carry the baggage from the past with you into the future. Forget about the people who used to bring you down because they are not worth your energy and time anyway.

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