Relationship between Connection and Belonging

Darryl Bachmeier
Oct 14, 2020

Humans are social creatures. Not only colleagues, co-workers, acquaintances or Facebook “friends” but also most people have a deep desire to connect with others deeply and closely.

We yearn to feel valued and supported. We long to share our thoughts, feelings, and life with others. We want to feel what others need. These desires not only represent the physical or digital presence of others but also reflect a basic human need to associate with them.

Whether it is with their partners, their children, a family of birth, everything I see every day as a colleague or an employer at work is all connected and owned.

What is the connection?

Suppose you think about your day to day, thinking about your relationship with you. In that case, we are disconnected from ourselves when we are not involved in what is happening to us. 

We avoid strong situations in our lives or strong emotions, and we are disconnected from ourselves. At these times, we can feel flat, lethargic, depressed, or anxious.

How do we connect with those around us?

Today our level of contact with humans is declining significantly. We connect online, we connect electronically, but we do not connect with real touch and feel.

Stop for a moment - stop. After a long day at work, walk in the doorway and do not operate your phone, iPad, or computer.

  • Family Take a few minutes to hear how your family is doing.
  • Help make dinner together
  • A Sit together as a family and eat your meal together

Connection to Ourselves

To discover the real is to own and incorporate oneself. When you cannot own yourself, impersonation and self-doubt (trust) become the norm. Anxiety, depression, trauma, and lack of healthy relationships develop as a result of being a self.

Connect without any interruptions other than spending some time connecting TVs, phones, computers, or each other.

What is belonging?

The essence of true self follows the real connection to itself. Once we understand and accept ourselves, we can share our most authentic self with the world. Incorporating yourself is unique and right or wrong. Hard work is vulnerable to anything.

How do you belong to yourself?

Being able to feel genuinely connected and own is connected to you. Suppose you have gained dozens of clients who struggle with depression, trauma, and drug addiction in my career. 

The first practice you should implement on the healing path is to allow and create for your clients to feel their body sensations. Do not work just on creating a safe space where any emotion can be generated. 

Clients need to create a sense of resilience and comfort in the face of any strong emotions or stimuli in their body.

The Early Roots of Belonging

There are apparent advantages to merging with others. Tribal binding increased the probability of finding food, provided protection from predators, and enabled breeding.

Belonging in Childhood

From an initial age, children start to improve social behavior and self-awareness with others. From 14 to 18 months, babies begin to engage in behavioral aids.

Preschoolers begin to follow social norms and begin to model their behaviors after caregivers, peers and others they care about, which should be their own and feel included.

The early years are essential for developing social skills that will help prevent lifelong losses. Focusing on those in early childhood and the school provides an active approach to fostering positive change in old age and beyond.

Belonging in old age

Throughout adolescence, relationships play an essential role in physical and mental health, although the possessions they own often disintegrate, change, and develop. Social changes; Changing social roles, networks and expectations; further increased responsibilities affect how we build bonds and friendships.

Intimate desire increases and romantic relationships are expected. For many, the roles change from being a part of one’s family to starting and nurturing one’s own family.

For parents, there may be a tug-of-war between work stress and family life. Friend and community groups are formed by combining common social interests and combining common family interests.

Old age

The feeling of belonging in old age is essential. Social relationships support healthy ageing, helping to prevent loneliness, isolation, and related adverse effects; Providing emotional and instrumental social support; And providing evidence of meaning and purpose.

Older people often develop a greater appreciation for social interactions. Friends and family are very important, and community groups can provide a source of connection. However, when these bonds are eroded, it is difficult for these ages to make new social connections.

Creating a sense of belonging

Creation of a sense of belonging needs an active effort and training. One way to enhance your sense of belonging is to look for ways to be similar to others instead of focusing on different ways. Is someone older than you are? Maybe they have beautiful stories to tell, and you want to hear their experiences. You can respect a difference and contribute to their lives with the strength of your youth. 

Does anyone else have a different belief system? Maybe you both enjoy a good discussion or you both value faith in God. Sharing your differences and accepting that person creates peace. Acceptance does not mean agreement.

An exercise in stopping, being, and connecting

When you feel synchronized in your environment or even in your situation, try this practice to bring yourself back to:

Stop and focus on your emotions

Be present at this time and pay attention to the space around you and whatever reveals your presence. You do not have to fix or change anything. So much can be achieved by simply paying attention. Connect with your body.

Try taking a few deep breaths and feel the bodily sensations arise. Then, use your senses as tents to connect with your environment. You can see cars passing by, or you can hear the birds teasing the things that connect you to the world outside of you. In this subtle way, you found what you own.


Human interactions are important throughout life. They begin early, continue to develop, and last into old age. They are affected internally by human development and by changing social landscapes externally and have a dynamic impact on interactions and responses with others.

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