Managing your Boundaries - How to Manage the People around You

Darryl Bachmeier
Jul 16, 2020

It is said that the people around you have the power to make or mere your life. Yes, that’s just the fact; the type of people you allow in your life is in a perfect position to make you fly and reach your highest peak, and on the contrary, they can also draw you down to your lowest. This is why you must take your boundaries seriously – protect them with your life if need be because there lies both your present and future.

But before we proceed to talk about the way you manage your boundaries, you should ask yourself, what and where is my boundary? It is simple, your boundary is ‘you,’ and you are your boundary! Your boundary is your convenience, your space, your everything; in other words, call your boundary your life. So, the kind of people you allow in there must be reviewed because if anything goes wrong, the chances of surviving it are slim.

Now, we believe you must have known what boundaries are; the next question is, who deserves to be in or out of the boundary? Well, we will say everything or anyone that loves and genuinely cares for you. It doesn’t matter your relationship with them; they can be your friends, relatives, or even some stranger you barely know. Once you have certified that their feeling is honest, go ahead and allow them into your life because that’s where they are needed the most. On the contrary, if any of these people fail your test, no matter who they are, do not hesitate to throw them outside the boundary. But then, another question pops up, what if the person in question is a close family member? How does one deal with such a situation?

It is simple, apply the “extracting the yoke without breaking shell” technique. This means that you should find a way to sideline them without really breaking the relationship. Let’s cite an example; let’s use the hard one, what if your father is? What happens then? How do you sideline such an important figure in your life? Yes, you can do it. All you need to do is to disconnect yourself emotionally from them; quit telling them personal stuff that might ignite some heart to heart talks because most parent-child connections come by having personal conversations such as this. But don’t misunderstand this though, this doesn’t mean you have to disrespect your parents; everything you need to do has to be done internally.

Ways to Manage our Boundaries?

There are many reasons why people should manage their boundaries; the major ones are:

Avoid Bad Vibes

Bad vibes no doubt kills motivation. Bad vibes are the reason why people start suddenly thinking that they are not good enough. Once you allow the wrong people into your life (boundary), you will most likely fall into depression and feel dejected. And trust, you don’t want to be depressed if you are an aspiring young man.

Assess people around you

Before you can allow people into your life, run a comprehensive assessment on them, scrutinize their lifestyle, what they can do, and the mind of vibe they always possess. If it is positive, give them a chance, but if it is not, do the needful ASAP before it is late. Again, we must note that you mustn’t be in haste to assess these people because it may ruin the other process if you miss something.

Have a Principle

Your principles are like your personal guards to your boundary; call them your “broader patrol.” Nothing goes in or out without properly antagonizing it. Take, for example; you don’t smoke: one this decision is indoctrinated in your principles, there is no way you lay your garden down to condescend to smoke. The same goes for people you wish to have in your life; once you have structured principles of the kind of people you want around you, you hardly get it wrong.

Shut Out Negative talks

Shutting out negative people is the same as shutting out negative talks, and allowing negative people into your life is the same as compromising your boundary. When negative talks penetrate your boundary, it goes straight to the mind you perform all the destructive works.

Limit your Circle

There is a wise saying that you should choose your friends, don’t let them choose you. But we will lime to add that you should make sure that they ate not so many to the extent that it outstretched your reach; make sure you make the number of friends you can handle and never go overboard.

Finally, managing your boundaries will go a long way in making you a better person; you will get to live a healthier and happier lifestyle that you deserve. Good luck.

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