Letting Kids Fail

Darryl Bachmeier
Jun 12, 2019

Am I Doing It Right?

Would this be good for my child? Would this make my child a better person? Parenting comes with a constant battle of answering these sets of questions with positive answers. In this era of social media, everyone tries to be the ideal parent by reading tons of shallow parenting books written by shallower influencers to roll more money.

What’s missing in the jigsaw puzzle of these parents is, they don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. If you are a rising parent and feel lost in this ocean of overly achieved parents, we are here to bring you to the shore by enlightening you on where things are going wrong and how to overcome some of the alarming issues you have been neglecting from the dawn of parenting.

Am I Ready To See My Child Fail?

Who is exactly? No one. Not even you and we understand it. We are not going to advise you in letting your child fail at everything. What we are suggesting is that don’t do things for them in order to ace any given task. Rather let them fail and learn.

Exhibit A

If you see that your child is learning to ride a bicycle. Stop pushing it the whole time. Let them fall, get hurt. Let them get up, fall again, get up again, and finally ride the bicycle all by themselves. Just stand right there from a distance.

Exhibit B

If your child is trying to brush jam on bread then don’t do it for them just to avoid a mess on the counter. Even if they make a mess, let them do that anyway. It won’t take you more than 5 minutes to clean up. But let your child create a mess and learn from it.

We understand your temptation behind teaching and helping your child in becoming the best version of themselves. Now ask yourself something, would that really make them become the best version of themselves? Is life really that perfect? No, right? Then what’s wrong with letting your child know that from an early age?

Let them learn that life isn’t a piece of cake. Rather it is a triple layer trifle. Life has obstacles but you can come around if you believe in yourself. Somedays you won’t but let your children know and learn that it’s alright too.

Let your child learn new sets of skills just like riding bicycles and spreading jam to their bread. This will let them be open to learning new things instead of getting paranoid about it. This will teach your child that they can take risks. At the same time, their mind will guide them that they will overcome the situation if they fail. Your child will be toward making more mistakes and learning new things from that.

Now ask yourself if you want this version of your child or the other protected version filled in paranoia? If you are ready to let your child fail then we know some techniques that will come in handy in that case. To grasp the most effective ways to see your child fail and learn from that keep reading!

How To Let My Child Fail

Easy. Let them sort things out themselves. Now there are different sorts of things we are referring to. To have a better understanding of the cited things we are referring to have a look at them here-

Encourage them.

To try new things. To make decisions. Be it learning a new instrument or a new language. Encourage them like their biggest fans. Let them take these classes and check on them their progress from time to time. Over time if they start failing then they need more practice and perseverance to learn new skills. Let them fail. Teach them to embrace failure and try again. Later see them come to you running after they learn how to play your favorite song on their guitar or say how much they love you in French.


Tell them the times you failed terribly. Let them know that their role model failed too. Tell them how you overcame that and how you are holding up. Let them analyze that anyone can fail. Let them understand that sometimes it’s okay to fail. Assure them that if everyone out there fails to understand them, you will still understand them.

Trust them

With all your heart. Let them know that you are rooting for them. Let them know that you have faith in their decision. Give them the liberty to try new things or things that make them curious. Let them be their own versions and keep faith in them. If they fail then that’s alright too. If they succeed that’s a win for both of you!

Let them find a way back. If your child fails then resist yourself from fixing things for them. Rather let them fix things or find a way back to normal. Letting your child finding a way back will make them become more self-sufficient. So, let your child grow at their own pace. They will make it to the end very well. We are rooting for them.

Final Words

We know what a wonderful parent you are. We are rooting for you and your child. Sometimes it’s better to hold back yourself if you want someone to move forward. Let your child explore, fail, and come around. That’s what makes life so beautiful.

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