How to Make Real Deep Connection with Someone

Darryl Bachmeier
Jun 10, 2020

Deep connected life long friends. Happy together. Three young women.

Most of what we have nowadays as relationships are not what it used to be. Now, it seems we all are in a hurry. We are driven by own selfish inclinations. We want to quickly end a conversation and trot off like wasps into the comfort our solitude offers. We seem to have forgotten the value of social capital.

Even for those who claim to sustain relationships, research has proven that it’s no more than a superficial endeavour. They aren’t really connected to their cronies. If this wasn’t so, a research on self-isolation in America would not have revealed that most people have just one person or none at all that they share their personal problems with. Indicative of this is that we all have gotten so paranoid!

To make matter worse; the social media has contributed in no small measure to reducing real life, person to person interaction into a façade. Yet it claims to further the cause of social connectedness; what an irony!

Now, there is a need to come a realization point; and that’s the fact that we need to deepen our social connection with others. It’s an enormous asset that comes handy when we need to weather the storms of life at some point. The experience is mind blowing!

The following tips can help you intensify your relationship with others.

Be conscious about it

Engaging with others is an intentional activity which requires a lot of commitment. This is a must-pay sacrifice. You need to give the impression that you are interested in the relationship by expressing it. You let them know you value the time you spend with them.

Being conscious and deliberate about them means you are not reluctant to utilize your time, energy, intelligence, skills and resources to deepen the relationship.

Show love

If you value a relationship, you must show love; after all, it’s all we need to make the world a better place.

Sometimes, despite your tight schedule, you need to create time to maybe send a text or call them; sometimes, you need to prepare a delectable meal and ask them to come over for dinner or just go on a date; sometimes, you have to demonstrate some random acts of kindness, for example, baby-sit a pet or a baby; and sometimes, you need to make them laugh – the list goes on and on

All this points to a single fact and that’s the point that love is love when expressed, it doesn’t suffice in mere statements.

Be interested

Another way to connect with people is by being interested in their lives. You are not trying to pry or intrude their privacy; you are only showing that you care about them.

Ask them about their lives, how their job is going and the challenge at work; ask about their hobbies and goals. Show that you are interested in their overall well-being.

Learn to Communicate effectively

Bridge in communication has been the factor responsible for most social disconnect. How you handle communication matters a lot. What you say and how you say it; how you respond to stimulus people generate, goes a long way in creating lasting impressions about you in them. You’d don’t want to be misinterpreted!

Hence, you must develop the right verbal and non-verbal cues to communicating. Your action and reaction must reflect that you want them around you. Know when to smile, when to express hysteria, when to talk and when to listen. When engaged in serious discussions, learn to maintain good eye contact; it’s a simple but powerful way to connect with people.

Setting And Understanding Boundaries

The aphorism that “familiarity breeds contempt” comes into play here. You need to understand what works for you and what works for them. People can act funny at times; but, there’s no point tolerating toxic attitudes.

Learn to communicate your likes and dislikes just like you’d try to understand theirs too. Never take them for granted and you mustn’t allow them to take you for granted either. Respect the boundaries they have set as breaching them may destroy friendship, crush family life or upset a work relationship. Be matured in your approach.

Value every time spent

This is also a sign that shows you esteem the relationship in high regard. Hence, it will make people even if you are meeting them for the first time, open up to you. But how do you do this? It’s quite simple

You just have to learn to avoid distractions during conversations. Be focused on them; communicate effectively. Engage your mild sense of humor when need be and enjoy all the way.

Be a good listener

Everyone is going through a hard time. That’s why most people won’t even want to bug anyone with their problems. So, when you see people who want to share with you, it’s because they need a listening ear – after all, a problem shared is half solved, so they say.

Now, you must learn to engage your listening skills. This would intensify your relationships because everyone likes to be listened to.

Only you can’t navigate through the stormy waters of life alone. You need company!

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