How to Deal with Jealousy in Relationships?

Darryl Bachmeier
Jul 10, 2020

Human nature is generally based on behaviors, emotions, and feelings. When we get fond of someone, we generally build up feelings of possession and ownership towards them. These feelings usually come out of our love and association towards them and the role we play in each other’s lives.

However, at worst, our feelings of possessions can turn to feelings of jealousy when there’s some sense of insecurity, fear, or anxiety. When we talk about relationships, feelings of jealousy usually arise when we get to know about the ex(es) of our partners or our partner starts getting busy with something else or hanging out with other friends.

We may feel jealous thinking our partner might be more affectionate towards others compared to us. Out of jealousy, we might start thinking that our best friends or partners have some sort of feelings towards others. However, it’s possible that our thoughts and imaginations are far from reality and our partners are still affectionate and loving towards us like before.

So, how to assess our feelings of jealousy or deal with our anxiety that we’re going through? Though jealousy can be deep-rooted and difficult to overcome, it can be dealt with by acknowledging one’s feelings and practicing mindfulness accordingly.

Overcome Jealousy in a Productive Way

By bringing a positive aspect in our thoughts and emotions, and learning about the true source of our jealousy, we can get past these feelings and keep going with a healthy relationship with our partner. To overcome jealousy productively, you can follow a few steps as discussed below:

Pay attention to the situation triggering jealousy in you If you really want to deal with jealousy feelings, it’s important to understand the source of envy. Since it might just be based on your imaginations or your understanding of the situation. While the reality might be quite different.

Taking an example, you arrive at a movie theatre and find out that your best friend/partner is already there but with someone else. Now, if you start thinking that your partner didn’t want you to come there or join them, it will trigger feelings of jealousy and envy in you.

While on the flip side, it might be possible that your friend knew that you didn’t want to see that movie. The way you consider the situation accelerates the emotions you feel. So, take a while before judging the situation yourself.

Put more focus on your relationship

Jealousy comes out when you fear any risk or insecurity in your relationship. Instead of thinking someone might be creating issues within your relationship, put more focus and energy into it that you feel missing for the time being.

If you feel your partner is getting busier with something else, take it as a sign to make more time for your partner. Ask them and get along with them on lunch or dinner or take them to their favorite place where they hadn’t been for so long. This will not only suppress your feelings of jealousy but also bring you two more close and more affectionate towards each other.

Shed off negative views about yourself

One of the major reasons behind jealousy feelings is low self-esteem and comparing yourself with others and considering them superior to us. While everyone has their own capabilities and activities to get along through the day, it’s ineffectual to think others are doing better than ourselves.

Under such emotions, you may even put your relationship in menace. Instead of taking things negatively, give a boost to your self-esteem, and look around for more hobbies and activities that make you more confident in yourself. This way you’ll overcome your thoughts of being inferior or not fitting well into your relationship.

If issues are arising, talk about them

One mistake that we often do in our relationships is to stop communicating out of jealousy or envy especially when we feel distant from our partners. But keep in mind, the issue won’t resolve ever without communicating with your partner.

Instead, you need to have an open conversation based on mutual trust and faithfulness that you already have in your relationship. Discuss your feelings with them and let them know your thoughts that you’re going through. This will resolve any misunderstanding that just came into your mind and you’ll be able to see things more clearly.

Moreover, open conversations make the bonds stronger and enhance the trust that you have for each other.

Rather than being suspicious and jealous, stay calm While jealousy can trigger negative feelings in ourselves, it can impact our behaviors towards others as well. If you seek positive ways to deal with your feelings of jealousy, the foremost thing is to keep yourself calm and keep that trust alive in your relationship.

Take conversation and communication as a way to sort out things, rather than building confrontation that can destroy a relationship for good. By staying calm and having a positive attitude, you can not only save your relationship but also relieve yourself from a huge amount of anxiety, stress, and misery.

Final words

When you’re feeling jealousy in your relationship, you’re already overwhelmed with insecurity and anxiety. Don’t let these emotions get you apart from your loved ones and make you really upset. Identify the source of your insecurity and apprehension and take steps to deal with it in an effective way. Remember the good you share with your partner and bring more to fill in the gap that you’re feeling at the moment.

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