How to Ask for Help and Why Should You Do It

Darryl Bachmeier
Jul 14, 2020

Be it to strangers or even close ones, asking for help is an inevitable thing to do. To say the least, it’s something that we all have done at some point in our life, no matter how uncomfortable it made us feel. Regardless of how “mundane” a help may seem, asking for it is not that easy and is weirdly uncomfortable to many.

According to neuropsychologists, the fear of asking for help is something that’s embedded in human nature. And, this adds up to the fact that we all have it to some extent. While the degree of fear of asking for help may differ from person to person, sometimes the crippling discomfort that comes with it tends to get in the way of us from getting help. If you happen to be a person who’s a bit too wary when it comes to asking for help, keep on reading to know our take on it!

Why is it so hard to ask for help?

There are a bunch of theories loitering on the internet that perfectly define the root of the fear associated with it. One of them is the fear of being come off as “needy” or “incompetent.” Some of us try really hard, creating a false facade of being “strong” that we begin to believe that asking for help makes us seem “weak” to others. With society constantly sending out loud messages to “toughen up,” being seen as vulnerable is the last thing that we want to do these days.

Fear of rejection comes next. Maybe early on in your life, you were turned down by people when you sought their help, and the unpleasant memories associated with it are now holding you back.

Another reason is the sense of self-consciousness. Many people, mostly introverts, do not want to burden someone else with their own problem, and therefore, refuse to seek help, no matter how bad they might need it.

Why is it important to ask for help?

Just because you don’t ask for it doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t need it. Even the strongest person needs help to get going. Asking for help can benefit not only you but also the people who’re offering to help. Below is a list of reasons you should ask for help more often than you normally do!

To make new friends

As we are social creatures, we are supposed to work together, not by ourselves. Asking for help will allow you to build connections that you’ve never had before. According to a recent study, people who are willing to ask for help and share information with others are seen as friendly and warm. These are the traits that people look for in a friend, and by asking for help, you can build a brand new friendship. If you hadn’t reached out in the first place, you might have deprived yourself of making new friends!

To improve mental health

For better mental health, psychiatrists cannot recommend asking for help enough. As a matter of fact, asking for help can be a life-altering step one can take to cope up with depression and other mood disorders. Seeking help will make you feel at peace and get you on the road to improvement.

To come off as a “high performer”

A research shows that high performing students or employees are more likely to seek help from their classmates or colleagues. And, this behavior goes on to show that they have a knack for constant improvement. No wonder teachers like students who ask for help! So, even if it means just grabbing some attention, asking questions can take you a long way.

For a matured mindset

The moment you take into account that you need to ask for help, you normalize the whole process and take a step towards growth. And, when you finally ask for it, leaving all your pride and ego behind, you grow into a sensible human being who’s worth appreciating!

How to get better at asking for help?

No matter how overwhelming it may seem at first, asking for help is an art that can be honed over time. First thing first, you need to get over your shyness. According to a study conducted by Cornell University, more than 70% percent of the people are likely to help you if you directly ask them. People want to be appreciated and want to help, even if it requires them to go the extra mile. So, don’t let your shyness come in the way when it’s time to ask for help.

Another pro tip is not to ask it over a text. Asking help over a written text seems a much easier option, and so is to say no to! Make it as personal as you can, as it’s proven by research that face-to-face requests are at least 40 times likely to be more successful.

And last but not least, be concise when it comes to seeking help. Over explaining the problem can be energy-draining for both of the parties, and that’s why clear communication is the way to go. Be as specific as you can to end up with a more successful outcome.

Final Words

Some people are so used to being the avid helpers; they forget how to do it when it’s their turn. Not to mention the social stigma that comes with it. But asking for help only makes us more human and capable. No matter how hard it may seem at times, it’s okay to ask for help, and you definitely should do so whenever you feel the need.

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