How You React Matters Most

Darryl Bachmeier
Jul 8, 2020

The famous saying, “10% of what happens in life, and 90% of how you react to it”, still reminds us that our attitude is everything; that is what shapes our beliefs and desires. There will be tough times throughout our lives, but how we interpret them is ours. We always control our emotions in spite of any circumstances.

Many blame their circumstances for their shortcomings and as a result, accept the harsh reality of their situation. These people believe that an event is equal to its end.

Our attitudes shape our feelings, beliefs and often our behaviors. Our attitudes, while sometimes indifferent, are often positive or negative. They play a huge role in life - which can sometimes be very drastic. Things and events happen that we have no control over.

Life is not limited by what happens to you. How you behave in each situation, what you learn from it, and the resources you receive to deal with similar experiences in the most effective way are very important.

What Matters To You Is How You Behave

Instead of paying attention to the facts, you should raise the attitude. Rather than questions, you need to design strategies to answer that particular problem. It’s about changing the pain of decision making so that the fear and pain will disappear.

When You Face The Unchangeable, Acceptance And Transformation

It does not matter how difficult a particular situation you are facing. What matters is how you behave and how you respond. As Albert Ellis said well, one matures when one stops criticizing the unhappiness of others.

It does not matter what your parents did. It does not matter how badly your past romantic relationship ended. No matter if you are angry with the current government or administration. What really matters is how you behave - nothing else.

You matter

You are the central axis of your life and your greatest responsibility. Thus, when something keeps you choking and out of your control, acceptance is the first step you need to take.

The second step is to change. Your actual status will only change if you dare to change and make bold decisions. Keep in mind that this is often the best.

A good attitude is the best thing to wear on hard days

The most powerful and beautiful thing you can wear is a good attitude because it will shape your feelings and emotions for a purpose.

Attitude can fix insecurities, dispel your fears, and put your goals on the horizon. Also, it will help you make new decisions when you trust your instincts.

You have the opportunity to create your future

You may now have an uncertain, complicated, and challenging day. In these situations, how you behave and what you choose to do is also important. Besides, you should remember that everything you do today would create or control your future. You can create or rebuild, go forward or backward.

Any decision you make today will resonate with your future. So, to remember that yesterday was not a bar, choose to take responsibility for yourself, act and respond, and mobilize your dreams and strategies. What matters is what you do today; Here and now.

How you always behave involves changing something about yourself?

Reaction and response are verbs that refer to action and movement. It is the act of inspiring others to leave old patterns to move forward with a new focus. So, any unexpected event, any big or small challenge, inevitably triggers you to separate yourself from any personal layer that is already useless. Essentially, it does awaken another with more light, energy, courage, and creativity.

Because beyond what happens to you; Aside from suddenly discovering the obstacle of great dimensions in your path, what is important is how you deal with it, how you choose to overcome it, and the new skills you want to use to overcome this obstacle. So, keep the following in mind: Knowing how to act allows you to have a better life.

Why do we want to make things worse?

The truth is, we often act without thinking. It is based on a gut reaction, often fear and insecurity, and it is not the most rational or appropriate way to act. On the other hand, the respondent takes the situation and determines the best actions based on values ​​such as reason, compassion, and cooperation.

Let us take a quick example:

Reaction: Your child breaks something. By being angry, or perhaps screaming, by hurting the child and yourself, by making your relationship worse, and by not doing anything better you act immediately.

Respond: Suppose your child is breaking something. You notice your angry reaction, but pause, breathe and observe the situation-

  • The first answer is to see if your child is right - is she hurt or scared?
  • Second, realize that broken material, in the big view, is not so important. Let it go and adjust to what it does not have.
  • Third, help her clean up, play with it, show that mistakes are happening; it is nothing.
  • Fourthly, talk quietly about avoiding mistakes like this in the future and hug her politely.

This choice teaches us all the time, whether it is our mother harassing us, our co-worker being rude, our husband being unkind enough, and so on. There may be some external events that bother us, but if we learn to respond, without reacting, we can make things better and not be worse.

How To Learn To Respond?

The main thing to learn is memory and pause. Satisfaction is the act of seeing ourselves when something happens or triggering some emotional reaction in general. Focus on how our mind responds.

Take a pause

We do not have to act immediately because we have an internal reaction. We can pause, inactivate, and breathe. We can see this request to arise irrationally, and then let it go. Sometimes it takes a few seconds, to us to politely remove ourselves from the situation and allow ourselves to cool down before responding, take a Pause.

Watch the reaction

Now notice what the most brilliant, compassionate answer would be. What can it do to help and teach our relationship, create a better team or federation, change the situation for the better, and calm everyone, including us?

At first, you may be confused. However, over time, you will learn to see this reaction, and you will get better at the pause. Do not be upset if you get confused - be more careful the next time it happens. Notice what happened to trigger your reaction, and focus on when something like this happens again.

Be careful, pause, and then notice the thoughtful, compassionate response.

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