How To Deal With Negative People

Darryl Bachmeier
Mar 19, 2020

Have you ever wondered what makes us happy? Wealth, fame, beauty or strength may give you some temporary joy, but one of the most significant factors for happiness lies behind positivity.

Positivity is mainly embodied in the way people treat you, especially those who have things in common. However, luck may not be always on your side to meet only this kind of person. You will definitely encounter people who have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. They may be your friends, co-workers, classmates. Accordingly, to avoid getting yourself drained dealing with negative people, the tips below are especially focused on helping you out with it.

Dig Deeper Without Slipping into the Hole

Although it does not completely justify negativity, it is easier to be compassionate when you try to understand where it comes from. Are they negative because they hate their job, feel trapped in their life or lack self-esteem so the only way they can feel powerful is by hurting others? Approach them with both kindness and firmness but be careful they would bring you down with them.

Lend a Helping Hand

Often people complain as a way of crying out for help. They may not be conscious of it, so their comments come as complaints rather than requests. Don’t wait for a situation to help them improve positive feelings. Try to help them simply by asking them, “Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to help you?” or remind them of their good incidents, “Remember when you scored that goal during the football match? That was awesome!”

Cut Toxicity out of your Life

If the two previous strategies didn’t work, try something different. Since negativity has been proven to make you vulnerable to high levels of stress and therefore affect your attitude, it is necessary to realize what you are willing or able to tolerate. You have the right to limit your exposure to toxicity, so instead of listening to everything a negative person says; you’d better surround yourself with people who share your positive feelings.

Stay Detached from Negative Comments

Whenever the negative person goes into a negative swirl, avoid being caught in the negativity web by completely ignoring it. On the other hand, when they are being positive, praise them so that they will realize that your positive energy pay-off rubbing off on them successfully.

Switch to Positive Subjects

Negativity is usually triggered by certain topics, for example, when a negative person sinks into a self-victimizing mode, no matter what you say, he’ll keep complaining. After finishing, try saying, “Now tell me something good that happened to you today”. Some people are just not aware of how negative they’ve become, so through such a reminder, they may realize that negativity is not a way of life and may start to work on becoming more positive.

Hang out in a 3-people group or more

Being alone with a negative person makes all the negativity being directed towards you. Try to have someone else in the conversation as it works wonders in easing the load. On one hand, the other person would be a great asset to changing the subject, as well as be greater support and show much more empathy without being forced to receive all the negative thoughts on your own.

You are not their Problem Solver

You are responsible for yourself, not other people’s feelings or actions. Focusing too much of your time on your negative friend’s problems expends too much of your time on your negative friend’s problems will eventually affect you. For this reason, you need to put your own well-being ahead of others without feeling guilty about it. Empathy is a great thing to have, but don’t let it become a burden that would make your life miserable. Be secure and confident and don’t let negativity leak to you and cause you to doubt your abilities or undermine your desire to pursue your dreams.

Hold your Emotional Response

Some negative people seem to think that the only way they can get what they want is to be manipulative, and then gravitate toward others who easily offer compassion or get offended. For them, it is a sense that they’re not floating alone in their own sadness.

In such cases, offering a compassionate ear only feeds their negativity and teaches them they can depend on you for a reaction. Otherwise, they realize you won’t react the way they expect, and therefore they will take their angry rants elsewhere.

Final thoughts

No matter what you say, or what you do, you will encounter some negative people around you interacting negatively and draining your energy. Obviously, those are not the most enjoyable people to see, but you will undoubtedly have to act and prevent them from depleting your energy and ending up treating them the same way of theirs. Instead, by considering the aforementioned tips, you can change their behavior and their dark mindsets into lighter ones.

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