Treat everything in life as if it is happening for you

Darryl Bachmeier
Dec 8, 2020

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. We have all heard this phrase when facing adversity and tough challenges in our lives. This mantra calls for an optimistic outlook towards life, but is it really all that simple? For a lot of us, life just keeps throwing one roadblock after another, and we can’t find ourselves catching a break. At these times, we often question what we did wrong to deserve this, leading to a road of despair and hopelessness. There is, however, another way to look at these bumps in our lives, a perspective that shares that life happens for us, not to us. Let’s have a look.

What does this mean?

Life happening for us, instead of to us entails that everything that has happened in our life is for our own betterment, even the negative experiences. All of our experiences, opportunities, and failures are there to improve us as a person, and all of them are happening at the right time, right when we needed it. This perspective calls for having faith, self-control, gratitude, and patience. Let’s now dig deeper into how life has been happening FOR you.

How life can happen for you

The first thing you should ask yourself is that are there any lessons for me in this situation. You can easily find lessons for yourself so that you avoid yourself from going down the same path again. Experience is the best teacher, and once you have experienced a setback, you now have a shot at a fresh start, fully equipped with all the learning and exposure of your previous attempt.

Additionally, it is these challenges or difficulties that force you to grow yourself and utilize your full potential. Diamonds are made from extreme pressure, and you too can reach your optimum state after sustaining through and persevering through excessive pressure. This is why not every difficulty in life is a bad thing, as it is just life’s way of developing you to become a better version of yourself.

Moving on, a major blessing in disguise that comes out of difficulties in life is that it makes people more empathetic and it makes them devoted to helping others. Empathy is an essential trait for a healthy and supportive community, and when people can relate to what others are going through, they tend to be the first ones to lend out a helping hand. This is why you’ll see so many relief organizations started by people who themselves were once in the position of the people they are helping now. Empathy is also necessary for fruitful relationships with your loved ones, as it enables greater understanding and communication between people. Since you have already experienced something of a similar notion in the past, you are able to guide others out of it with much ease, making you a symbol of hope for others. Another outcome of internalizing that life happens for you is that even if you suffer a setback, you have faith that whatever happened is for the good and that there is a better alternative or opportunity right around the corner for you. Of course, we don’t encourage not putting in the work to achieve your dreams, but even with all your efforts if you end up failing, you’ll have an optimistic and hopeful approach to the future. Quite often, we don’t get our hands on what we want, but in hindsight, that ‘failure’ happened to be the biggest reason why you achieved success in some other avenue. All of this grants you the capability to not be a victim of circumstances and to live your life consciously. Due to this, you don’t act on impulsive behavior and you can control your emotions. You also get the empowerment to perceive a situation the way you want to perceive it and change your reaction to situations that would have previously triggered negative behaviors in you.

The bigger picture

It is said that the mind is our greatest prison. Just how we look at a situation, can drastically change how our lives are impacted by it. A beneficial approach for this is to look at the positives of your scenario, and they can be any of the points we discussed above and more. This can be done by taking a wider look or looking at the bigger picture instead of seeing the scene from your lens. You can try asking what advice I would give my best friend if he or she was stuck in a similar conundrum, and also gauge how you are reacting to your challenges and what they mean to you. A critical analysis of all these factors will ensure that you deal with your problems in a much-improved emotional and mental mindset, as you would have then fully understood that life has always been happening for you, not to you.

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