Everything You Need to Know About Shyness

Darryl Bachmeier
Jul 12, 2020

Who doesn’t like shy babies trying to hide from anything against its familiarity? It is often mistaken as an admirable trait. It may be fun when you’re little, but it could soon turn out to be a challenge as children reach teenage and adulthood.

The film industry often uses shyness as a cute romantic gesture. But it’s not always like that in real life. People often have to deal with many struggles because of shyness. We completely feel those struggling souls. So, we got down and researched to help you understand everything about shyness and ways to overcome it. Here’s everything you need to know about shyness.

What Causes Shyness?

There is no single answer to this question. Many things can trigger shyness. If you think only shy babies grow up to become shy, then let us assure you it’s completely wrong. An outgoing child can sometimes turn into a nervous adult. So what’s causing shyness?


Yes, shyness by default is possible. Genes have a significant role in setting our behavioral traits from early childhood. Shyness is no indifferent to it. But don’t worry. Even if the people who are shy genetically still can defy it and become outgoing. So if your parents are shy, there is a possibility it’s the gene that’s causing it.

Childhood Surroundings

Childhood is the time that creates the base for how you’re going to be as an adult. A child’s brain develops a lot faster. Renowned child psychologist and psychotherapist Haim Ginott said, “Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression”. The relationship between parents and children helps children grow better. Outgoing and energetic parents often causes a child’s shyness. When children are left to adapt to social traits, they often struggle with all the unfamiliarity. A bad neighborhood can cause a child to grow lonely and shy. Bullying can lower children’s self-esteem. In most cases, the fear of getting judged makes people nervous and shy along the way.

Work Environment

We often see one of our most energetic friends became shy in their adulthood. In our life, we go through many phases. With different stages, people adjust themselves in their own way. Do you know your angry boss who loves to humiliate you can force you to make walls around you? In 2018, one Forbes survey revealed that 53 percent of the average American is unhappy with their current job experience. So, your boss can harm your cheerful and outgoing behavior.

Cultural Reasons

Did it ever occur to you why the eastern or Asian peoples are shyer than the western ones? Well, cultural differences have huge effects on people’s behavior. The way one talks always depends on the culture one grew up in. Some cultures allow people to talk loud during conversations that other cultures might not like. The culture you from can cause your shyness.

Is Shyness a Mental Disorder?

Shyness is normal behavior. But there’s always a limit. Your normal behavior can turn into sickness if you don’t take the right step. Often excessive shyness can cause Avoidant personality disorder, which can cause self-isolation, low self-esteem. If your shyness hurts your everyday social life and makes your regular task difficult, then it’s time to put some chain around it. We suggest you read ‘Shyness: How Normal Behavior Became a Sickness’ by Christopher Lane for the intensive study.

Is a shy person an introvert?

This is one of the frequently asked questions. In expression, introversion and shyness is similar behavior. Though Shy people and introverts have few similarities like avoiding social interaction, the two things are entirely different. A shy person avoids social interaction due to low self-esteem and a lack of social skills.

On the contrary, Introverts don’t avoid interaction due to shyness. They simply don’t want it. Introverts are often in love with their solitary life. They found their peace within their walls.

How can you overcome shyness?

No one should avoid any problem that gets in the way of everyday life. We researched for you. Here’s an approach you can to prevent shyness from getting in the way of your life.

Know your Problem

Understanding the problem is half the journey. After reading this far, you probably have got an idea of what’s causing it. Knowing your problem will give an idea of where to work on. Start there. Set a goal, work on those sides. If you’re still at a loss, keep reading.

Coping with Change

Life has many phases. Don’t get lost in changing phases. Cope up with the change around you. Not everyone around you in your adult life would be like your childhood friends. There’ll be people you can’t stand for a moment. Manage your anger and deal with those people. Your boss might humiliate you a lot. Don’t let it bother you much.

Be a fool

Life is too short to get self-conscious. Self-doubts and lack of self-esteem might cause your life’s happiness. Stop overthinking. Don’t hesitate to be a fool. Use humor to get back. In 2006, William Hampers used 174 people as subjects to develop a relation between shyness and humor. The correlation between humor and shyness was significantly negative. That concludes how humor can counter shyness and the problems causing it.

Bottom Line

Everything has its limit. Anything crossing the boundary can often cause discomfort in life. Shyness is not a significant illness that needs some big pills. Understanding the problem and knowing the limit is the trick. We hope this article has helped you distinguish your situation and have a better insight into what’s causing your shyness.

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