Dealing with Rude People

Darryl Bachmeier
Aug 24, 2020

We all face the legitimate role of difficult people in our lives. Some crawl over us when we order daily coffee at Starbucks; others sit with us at work every day. Still, others we may be in a close relationship with. No matter who it is, it is important to consider ways to deal with our reactions to them properly. Giving these people an attitude in return is easy, especially since we do not think we will ever see them again. However, by stopping, thinking, and responding correctly, you can feel much nicer to communicate.

Below are some tips and tricks you can apply while dealing with those who are far from friendly:

Be quiet at all times

Suppose you are easily active or have a habit of complaining about minor hiccups such as a non-cooperating Outlook calendar or a faulty printer. In that case, you may be an easy target. If you have siblings, think about how they will choose you if you get angry right away. Being in control of your daily responses can encourage rudeness. If you are quiet and collected, it may seem that trying to rise above you is too much work.

Approach the problem upside down

If you are often distracted by rude behavior from a particular person, quietly ask if you have done anything to upset or offend him or her. It underscores your desire to have an important conversation and listen to the other side. Sometimes, people will not even realize that they are behaving rudely. Your honesty may help them re-evaluate their actions. You may also find that you have misunderstood a situation.

Change the perspective

Psychologists call this the basic attribute error: if I do something rude like I failed to say hello on the street, it’s because it is a bad day for me - but if you do, it’s because you’re disgusting. It is worth remembering that an obvious person may have their reasons. This will reduce their irritability because their behavior does not seem to be very irrational.

Look at the misunderstandings

Sure, some bad people break the rules: they know it’s wrong to advance in line, but do it without any reason. However, not all have been raised with same rules. Just as in some cultures, you are more polite than blowing your nose in public. You may feel that a co-worker who sits elsewhere and ‘ignores’ you in the canteen respects your privacy. For example, if you suspect misunderstandings, try to clarify your preferences by inviting them to join you.

Focus on what you can control

As the ancient Stoic philosophers observed, we make ourselves miserable by trying to control what we cannot and by failing to control what we can. In the face of rudeness, you may choose to maintain your gait (by ignoring it), request a change in behavior (politely asking to use headphones) or leave the situation (by moving elsewhere). You cannot choose to make the other person less disgusting or remove all the disgusting ones from your life. Keep the difference clear, and your stress levels will not rotate.

Observe the other person’s point of view

Keep in mind that there may be that person’s behavior on that day, but that person is not himself or herself, it makes them mad at you. If you know that person and know that they are not a bad person, consider it a situation. Depending on the situation, quickly look at the side of the argument. Is it possible that their point is valid? Conversely, if you are familiar with this rude person and seem to know how they function every day, working with both of you can be a big issue. We will get it!

Resist responding rudely with rudeness

According to, responding rudely to an offender - especially when it comes to workplace contact - is not going to get you anywhere. In fact, at work, it can cause you problems. Is it really worth it to be reprimanded by your boss for something you did not start? No way! If you do not allow yourself to act overworked, angry, or rude, you will only be happy because of your positive vibes.

Let it be abandoned and walk.

Roughness hurts, but removing yourself from the situation is the fastest and most sure way to avoid too much rude behavior from the same person. Even if they still talk to you, stay away! If they are strangers, you will never have to deal with them. If they are a friend or co-worker, they will soon learn that bullying you is nowhere to be found (and that will motivate them to be nice next time).

Consider providing assistance.

Some rudeness is the simple case of bad habits. But more often than not, a person who is rude to you does so because they feel disgusted with something. In addition, suppose it is within your power to resolve their frustration. In that case, you may find them shifting from rudeness to gratitude in seconds. However, a word of warning offers help only if you can provide it immediately because offering help “later” will only increase their feelings of frustration.

Do not try to force change

If someone wants to be rude, you cannot be polite to him or her. In fact, if they are trying to force a change in their behavior often results in them behaving badly instead of performing better. Most of the times, your best alternative is to affirm that their rudeness is not your liability and let them find their clarifications.

Find out why

Most of the People have their personal reasons for being rude. Maybe they have had a bad day or are in a hurry, thinking there is no time for habits. They did not realize how rude they were. You never know until you ask! Be quiet, and ask why are you treating me like this? The answer may surprise you.

Kill the rudeness with kindness

Fighting rudely with rudeness exacerbates things - but responding with the most kindness disrupts the form, without turning you into a motivator. Have you got an improper email? Thanks for the message from the sender and wish them a great weekend. By determining this action, you are consolidating your authority, rather than surrendering. Keep rude person in their place, and they know that in a way they can never fight back.

Bottom line

Don’t let rudeness get you down with too much. The best way to mitigate rude behavior is to be friendly and helpful, giving the other person an opportunity to quiet and adjust their response to suit your behavior.

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