Zenbo Life

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  • It is payback time.  Someone has done you a harm, and now you want to inflict harm on him or her.  You want retribution.  We see it all the time in so many movies and TV shows.  A man seeks revenge for what has been done to him, and he gets it.  Wouldn’t you love the chance to say such powerful words now you get to have your revenge?  Does revenge belong in our real lives?

    We see it as a way of getting closure after we have been wronged, and it can be quite rewarding in the heat of the moment.  Still, does it stay rewarding?  What it actually does is prolongs the suffering of the original wrongdoing.  It means that, instead of healing your wounds, you are keeping them fresh.

    It re-opens your wounds and aggravates them.  Therefore, in reality, you are punishing yourself instead of the one that has hurt you.  However, if someone has hurt you, should you just forgive and forget?  What should you do instead of seeking revenge?  There is healthy revenge, and you achieve it by succeeding.  Put that intensity towards growth and your goals.

  • Love might as well be the meaning of our lives, don’t you agree?  With love, everything is possible.  It is the most magical occurrence that has been written about and sang about for ages.

    Every single person in this world wants to have love in his or her lives.  Why shouldn’t they?  Humans are made to feel and share love.  It seems like life suddenly has a purpose again once you meet the love of your life, and everyone is searching for that feeling.  Still, not everyone knows how to attract love into his or her life.

    You have to open yourself up to love.  Surround yourself with positive people and avoid the negative ones.  You need to know that they are supportive of you.  Start putting yourself out there.  Go out occasionally because the love of your life is not just going to fall into your lap while you are sitting on your couch.  Try to feel grateful for things that you have so far, and find some self-help books that could be of use to you.  Chase after your goals that give your life purpose and it will attract more positivity into your life.  Do not be judgmental and be as flexible as you can be.  However, most importantly, you need to give that which you want to receive.

  • It may be odd to ask, but how do you define happiness? Does your happiness have the same criteria as others? As you may hear it very often, do you think it makes a great difference in your life?

    Generally speaking, happiness relates to life satisfaction and moments of pleasure. Therefore, a happy person is someone who frequently experiences positive emotions, such as joy and pride and infrequently negative emotions, such as sadness and anger.

    However, each person summarizes their happiness in objects or things. Let’s read together some and find out whether they’re right or not.

    Myths and Facts about Happiness

    What is Happiness? Where Does it Come From? Many people have answered these questions, but which may be closer to reality?

    Let's discuss together some opinions to come out with a more clear outlook about what is happiness.

  • Every single day of our life may bring us both troubles and lucky circumstances.  The possibility of both is about equal.  Maybe the next day you will get a raise, or your dog may die, who knows?  Nobody.  You have to be prepared for everything, and it will be better for you if you do not fall into depression when your career hits a bump.

    We usually accept the gifts of fate with joy, and that is entirely okay.  It is rare, but also understandable, to experience gratitude for a small, every day, common activity, like getting breakfast from your partner.  However, can we potentially learn to take the downturns of our fortune and be okay with them too?  It seems like we can, and we have to.  Here are a few techniques that help you to learn how to be grateful for everything in your life.

    Gaining Experience

    Anything can happen to you in life.  You either are on top of things or are heading for troubling times.  Everything that has happened to you is priceless if you learn how to obtain proper lessons from it.  Imagine that you are a toddler who explores the world and gains essential knowledge and experiences.  Toddles can have a terrible time too, but that never stops them from gaining new experience.

  • Let’s be honest.  We do not like to admit it, but we are not perfect.  The thing about bad stuff is that it is easy to make a habit out of them.  After all, it does not demand any effort.  All you need to do is to do whatever you want.  It sounds like a fun way to live your life, but it is not healthy.  Why would you want to stick to a bad pattern of behavior?

    The first thing that you need to do is to figure out what exactly you want to be different.  For you to start changing, you have to know what it is that you need to change.  Think of specific things that you do.  Do you dump your shoes wherever you can instead of putting them in the closet?  Do you eat in front of the TV instead of at the table?  Still, it does not have to be anything like that.  Maybe you do not send texts to your partner or send them only when you have something negative to say.  Change that by deciding that you are going to send complimentary texts to your partner every day.  These are just some of the examples and let them inspire you to make a decision of your own.

    Let us look at all the things that will help you break bad habits.

    Identify your bad habits and their triggers

  • We all must have tried keeping a daily journal or a diary in our lives sometimes or the other.  Haven’t we?  However, how many of us can’t maintain it properly?  How many of us are indeed able to express our feelings and thoughts on paper or in a computer journal?  Only a handful of us.  This happens due to the lack of words and the ability to covert our thoughts into written matter.  Let us look at some ideas that may help.

    Be clear about what you wish to write 

    While putting your thoughts in words, it is essential to be clear in what you want to write.  Be clear about your thoughts and feelings that you want to put in your journal.  You must have clarity about what you think and what you want.  This clarity leads to a more effective journal.  You will be able to indulge yourself in the journal and be more productive.  Obviously, nobody can write each and everything in a journal, so it is important to segregate things efficiently, according to their importance.

    Be relaxed while writing a journal

  • The urge to eat a whole bar of chocolate in bed.  Hitting the snooze button for that extra 5 minutes of sleep.  Going out with friends instead of studying.  Buying things that you cannot really afford now.  The urge to spend all of your time with your partner instead of working on your career.

    Do you have an instant gratification monkey in your head?  When a rational decision-maker holds the wheel, you plan to get some work done.  Then instant gratification monkey takes over the wheel, and you end up watching YouTube videos until 4am.

    As you could read at the beginning, instant gratification can come in many forms.  So what is wrong with getting some instant gratification?  After all, don’t we live only once?  Isn’t life meant to be fully enjoyed?

    You should enjoy your life, but you should not waste it.  Just consider how long you are supposed to live.  It will give you a sense of time you have to enjoy things.  You do not really need instant gratification when you can work on achieving genuine happiness.  Such happiness is not immediate, but it is long lasting.  Let us consider two ways of life.

    One is without limits and restraints.  It is a life of pleasurable food and the riches of the Internet.  You can play video games, watch TV the whole day and drink until you drop.  It is a life of bad health, debt, distractions, clutter, and mindlessness.  All it really is a result of a childish mind.

  • It is not weird for most of us to keep ongoing dialogues within our heads.  These dialogues could be range from giving instructions to ourselves, observations about what has been going on around us, or it just could be what is usually referred to as self-talk.  Self-talk is your inner voice, the internal narrative that happens inside your head, which you may have spent much time thinking about it.  Interestingly enough, our self-talk can actually have a significant impact on the way we see ourselves and the world around us more than we realize.  Let us find out how!

    The Importance of Positive Self-Talk

    Self-talk is your internal dialogue that affected by your subconscious mind.  This internal dialogue interacts with your thoughts, beliefs, and ideas, which can be both positive and negative.

    However, most of your self-talk relies on your character, sometimes it could be encouraging, and other times may be distressing.  If you feel positive, your self-talk will be full of hope.  On the contrary, if you feel pessimistic your self-talk tends to be negative.

    However, it should be noted that positive self-talk can be effective stress management tools.  It can help you be a more positive person, improves your health and gives you a better life, as one 2010 study shows optimists have a better quality of life.

  • Everybody can feel exhausted, tired, and out of luck.  There is nothing we can do about it, and it is very normal.  All of us will have bad days.  What do you do if every day makes you depressed?

    If you feel unwell for a prolonged period, it is important to see a doctor.  There is a probability that you are suffering from clinical depression if every day makes you feel down.  If this feeling is irregular, then you are totally fine, and might just need a break.  Some parts of our life will make you feel uncomfortable anyway.

    Still, what can you do to endeavor to avoid this state?  Is it even possible at all?  Well, those who practice yoga and mindfulness techniques will definitely give you an affirmative answer to that question.  However, you can do something to empower yourself without learning these methods.

    Feel Free to Do Nothing

    There is nothing criminal in laying down on a couch or sitting in a comfortable armchair, close your eyes, and get lost in your thoughts for a few minutes.  Your brain will definitely thank you.  Psychologists recommend having one or two periods from ten to fifteen minutes of such cozy laziness a day.

    Get Used to Plan Your Day

  • Let us be honest, our past is a part of who we are.  It is a part of our present even, as it has made us who we are today.  The fears we have from past relationships influence how we build relationships today.  Past failures are like ghosts who haunt us and prevent us from living our lives.  We have to be rid of these fears in order to start living.  It is time for us to face our demons.

    If your fears from the past are a part of your present, do not let them be a part of your future as well.  Your brain is sending you signals that you should be on the lookout because something terrible from the past is going to happen again.  Just believing those thoughts makes your fears come to life and prevent you from enjoying the present.

    Instead of welcoming new experiences into our lives, we are afraid that we are going to get hurt again.  Just imagine how many people have the problem of not trusting others, because a loved one has betrayed them in the past.  What is worse, they often find the proof that they are right.  Why?  Because they project their fears onto their reality.

    When we expect something to happen, our expectations often become our reality.  This is because separating ourselves from our own perception is impossible.  Your perception will always be your reality.  That is why it is not possible to run away from the past.  You have to face it and let go of it.  Only then will you truly be able to move on without carrying all that baggage.