Zenbo Life

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  • Are you bored? 

    Have you been sitting at a corner all day, staring at the ceiling, wishing there is more colors and vibes you could add to your life having explored all available options and adventure?  Alternatively, you are trapped or withdrawn; wondering if that is also one of the inevitable conditions in life, which just happen to be happening to you now?  Whatever your situation is, one thing is clear and certain; it is the fact that you are bored!

    Isn’t it surprising that some people still get bored despite the cheese and geese the world has to offer; the music, arts, fashion and never-ending entertainment?  Isn’t it incredible that the presence of the social media and the blessing of friends and loved ones do not suffice in preventing one from falling into a state of boredom?  The reality remains unaltered as people still find themselves at that spot, fixated to no exact thought, only disinterested in all things despite everything.  What then could be the cause of this? 

    Boredom: not bad in its entirety

  • A unique configuration 

    As humans we have been uniquely configured to exhibit behavioural patterns which reflect how we feel. The expression we give to life and how we see it is often determined by these feelings – that is, those happy moments when we feel ecstatic or those sad times when we feel as if our world is crumbling. 

    In fact, our reactions to stimulus generated from our internal environment – our minds and our thoughts; and our external environment (people and situations around us); even, the hobbies and activities we choose to engage in, ride on the wings of these subjective inclinations – emotions,. In a nutshell, how we feel, act, react; what we perceive and the inferences we draw are products of our emotional state. 

    What is emotion?

    The Merriam Webster dictionary defines emotion as a strong feeling deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. Don and Sandra Hockenbury, authors of the book Discovering Psychology provides a lucid appreciation of the concept by conceiving it as a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components; a subjective experience, a physiological response and a behavioural or  expressive response. 

  • No man is an island!

    Building relationships especially with persons of similar age range is inevitable in life.  In fact, it is an important aspect of social conditioning that reflects that as humans, we are bound by some mysterious arrangements to befriend individuals who share similar interests and like-passion with us.  These are our peers, our friends.  

    However, identifying with a group of friends or peers comes with its challenges, which are notably associated with the pressure of meeting up with the standards of the group.  This could get sour sometimes especially when one is inspired wrongly and pressured to act in a particular way that negates morality simply because one’s mates are acting that way. 

    What exactly is peer pressure?

    Peer pressure entails the influence members of a similar social group can have on one another.  Briefly, it is the case where you desire to be part of something because your mates are doing it.  You can be influenced by your peers to dress in a particular manner, listen to a particular style of music and associate with a particular set of people. 

  • A mystery

    Wonder why monks or nuns are disinterested in what’s happening in the real world – the entertainments and razzmatazz? Why they linger in solitude and enjoy the peace it offers? Why they are content with having no material possessions such as houses or cars? Or why they don’t delight in attaining positions and yet, are satisfied? The answer isn’t unlikely; it’s simply because they are given to a life of non-attachment. 

    It’s funny how life is riddled in mysteries. These ones (monks and nuns) want nothing but end up with everything – bliss; while those who want everything ends up with nothing. 

    The so called “normal people” struggle to attain self-actualisation without success. The more they try to attain the highest level of bliss, the more it seems they become overwhelmed and withdrawn from it. Anxiety then sets in resulting in frustration, anger, sadness, depression and even, death

    Now, there’s a mystery that could keep you on the path to attaining bliss in life. That’s what is contained in this piece of write-up – it’s the positivity of non-attachment.

    What is non-attachment? 

  • Motivation Explained 

    Theories provide explanatory basis for all kinds of phenomena; be it social, biological, psychological, or natural. In the field of psychology, several theories have been developed by notable scholars to explain the concept of motivation. Basically, this concept preoccupies itself with how humans act or behave in a particular way and why they do; that is, what inspires or stirs up a certain kind of behavioural output in humans. One of such theory that attempts to provide justifications for why human beings act in specified ways is the Abraham Maslow’s theory of motivation. 

    Maslow’s theory is a content theory of motivation that is, it explains what motivation is and what it is not. This theory explicates motivation from the angle of the dissatisfaction of specified needs arranged in order of precedence. Emphasis is laid on the fact that what motivates human behaviour is the inability to satisfy some higher needs after some needs have been satisfied. That is, after a need is satisfied, humans will never be content as they will always strife to attain a higher one.

    Deficiency Needs and Growth Needs

  • What’s the beauty of life, if not happiness, mirth and comfort? This is the big question most of us struggle to answer every moment of every day of our lives. Admittedly, in pursuit of happiness, we run from pillar to post driven by the wind and forces of the world we live in. 

    How do I look? Am I not better more educated than John, why does he have a good job and mine is wacky? Of course I’m more beautiful than Jane, why can’t my relationship work out like hers? 

    These are questions that bother our minds and fill our thoughts. Unfortunately, we have come to that point where we anchor the foundation of our happiness on self-gratification and the achievements of those around us. We strive for people’s endorsement for our world to make sense and for the star in us to dazzle. We relentlessly look outwards to determine the quality of our existence, thus, doubting our essence and what we set out to achieve. This is unfair!

    Now, you need to come to the understanding that life traps only those who get carried away by the desire to pursue happiness at all cost. They end up frustrated. You must realize that you’ve got all it takes to make a difference. You don’t need people’s opinions, achievements or endorsements to thrive. Understand that neither John’s nor Jane’s achievements has nothing to do with you. You have your own life and it is unique.

    Looking outwards or inwards: what’s the difference?

  • The realities of life 

    Often times, life presents you with different challenges – challenges that nearly choke you out of existence.  At those crucial moments, the purpose of life becomes bleak and its essence, frustrating.  Then, and right there at that crossroad, it dawns on you that the journey of life is full of ups and downs, push and pulls – an indication that life is not at all, a bed of roses. 

    Of course, in life, many forces militate against one’s quest for fulfillment.  For some, it is the daily hustle and bustle for survival while for some others; it is the search for a better life, a raised paycheck or an upgraded standard of living. 

    Ikigai: bouncing back

    In reacting to life’s pressures, the Japanese people invented a concept known as ‘Ikigai’ simply translated in English as ‘the reason for being’.  The concept is a marriage of two words; ‘Iki’, which refers to life and ‘Kai’, which refers to the realization of what one expects or hopes for.  It refers to cultivating a mindset that helps you to bounce back when life seems to be treating you badly.  Ikigai are forces that keep you on your toes and reinforces your inner strength to respond positively to life’s hassles daily.  It makes you see light at the end of every tunnel of life. 

  • Most of what we have nowadays as relationships are not what it used to be. Now, it seems we all are in a hurry. We are driven by own selfish inclinations. We want to quickly end a conversation and trot off like wasps into the comfort our solitude offers. We seem to have forgotten the value of social capital.  

    Even for those who claim to sustain relationships, research has proven that it’s no more than a superficial endeavour. They aren’t really connected to their cronies. If this wasn’t so, a research on self-isolation in America would not have revealed that most people have just one person or none at all that they share their personal problems with. Indicative of this is that we all have gotten so paranoid!

    To make matter worse; the social media has contributed in no small measure to reducing real life, person to person interaction into a façade. Yet it claims to further the cause of social connectedness; what an irony! 

    Now, there is a need to come a realization point; and that’s the fact that we need to deepen our social connection with others. It’s an enormous asset that comes handy when we need to weather the storms of life at some point. The experience is mind blowing!

    The following tips can help you intensify your relationship with others.

    • Be conscious about it 

  • Setbacks are normal 

    Are you frustrated because a business you invested your time and money into imploded and there was nothing you could do about it? Or was it a set-target you were supposed to hit that failed? Or perhaps, it’s the case that you keep struggling to make life more reasonable and yet, the more you try, the more unrealistic it becomes? 

    Now you feel downcast and demoralized because you keep rising and falling as the current of life’s storm never cease to rock your boat? Of course, these experiences would have made you realize that the peregrination of life is chequered by vicissitudes. Yes, life is not all bed of roses and at certain times you are bound to face challenges which could occur as minor setbacks or even, as an overwhelming defeat.  It is normal!

    Hence, this piece has been aptly written to help you make the right decisions when you encounter setback in whatever aspect of your life. However, before we start, let’s see what setbacks are.  

    What are setbacks? 

  • Mysterious but Explainable! 

    Defying inertia to attain the highest mastery of a skill or an art is magical.  You would agree with me that it is quite, a mysterious phenomenon but explainable. 

    Quickly, let us have a flash back – remember the first time you touched the piano with the intention to play?  Alternatively, the first time the fine artiste in you prompted you to pick up your bristles and paint a drawing.  Alternatively, the ever first time you found an inspiration to write. 

    Amidst the distractions; perhaps you were batting with an emotional challenge; or, you were held to ransom by the greatest distraction of all time – your internet connected smartphone; yet, you reassured yourself you would not give in to these push and pulls.  You relentlessly pressed for perfection, ignoring the diversion. 

    Now, compare so far with what you have been able to achieve in that sphere of endeavor.  Then, as a burgeoning writer, you were just a tyro with a biro; but now, your consistency has paid off, you have earned a reputation as a “Pen Lord.”  It goes for all other sphere of human endeavor whether painting, music or science – you used to be a novice; now, you belong to the primus inter pares (first among equals).