Allowing Yourself To Be Vulnerable

Darryl Bachmeier
Jun 25, 2020
Emotions


The idea of ​​opening yourself up to rejection or acceptance is a terrible thing. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable feels like eating ice cream and listening to sad songs, when your feelings and hopes stop. However, even if we seem to be defending ourselves with that kind of rationality, it is a very damaging thought process to allow you to be humbled. Rather than teaching yourself to be comfortable with human interactions, get used to the idea of ​​sticking to your basics. Also, try something new by being honest about what you expect, all of which teach yourself to avoid.

Why Do We Struggle With Vulnerability?

In most of the relationships, we fear that if we honestly reveal our insecurities, mistakes, needs, fears and character flaws, our partner will change the way we think about ourselves. We will be ridiculed or treated as undesirable. They will judge us, misunderstand us, or abandon us - all terrifying opportunities.

How To Be More Vulnerable?

If you are struggling with vulnerability in your relationships, you are definitely not alone. Here you can see more about it-

Identify the people who are making an impact in your life and learn from them

It could be a co-worker who wrote about her failure on facebook, or a friend who was confident enough to ask for help dealing with her drug problems. By surrounding yourself with vulnerable people, you can soak up their credibility. Slowly, your guard starts to come down as well.

Be easy on it

Anna Osborne, a marriage and family therapist, told Bustle that those who think it’s hard to fall in love with a romantic partner are often “burned out before this.” So you do not have to dive into the hair. Moisten your toes by opening in small ways until you are comfortable sharing big things.

Take time to clarify your feelings and check yourself

When you become accustomed to avoiding or suppressing difficult emotions, you may begin to lose sight of how you really feel. Journal, meditation, working with a therapist or other similar practices can help you better understand and deepen your emotional life, Land said.

Check your partner’s feelings

Relationship conflicts arise when one partner gathers the courage to express something vulnerable, and the other partner becomes defensive or begins to offer immediate solutions instead of actually asking.

Examples of actual vulnerability

Admitting that you suck at something

If you think about it: if someone is obviously wrong, it is their golf swing or business negotiations with more stocks - there is nothing more frightening than openly bragging about how good they are.

Taking responsibility instead of blaming others

We all know that someone (or everyone else) is always blaming their problems: A man accuses his “lying shitbag of an ex” to all of her current relationship issues. If he admits that things are not working out and that he is sometimes a bad partner, he will be better off if he works to address it.

Telling someone that they are hurting / insensitive

This may seem like a clear example of vulnerability to some, but it is not really as common as you think. Many of us put on a thick skin and laugh and bear it when people inject or hold on to our sore spots.

Telling someone you appreciate/to admire/ respect / love them

It may be the final form of vulnerability, and it is one of the easiest to confuse (it will soon).

Six tips that can make your relationships more vulnerable

Self-awareness.

The most important first step in building a very emotionally close relationship in terms of trust and vulnerability is to get to know yourself. You cannot be contacted if you do not know what your truth is. It may seem odd, but many people are awake in nebulous senses or have key beliefs or some automatic thoughts that will never fully enter their consciousness as coherent thoughts.

Clarity

As long as you have the language for your inner experience, it is unknown - even you. If your relationship is currently in a fragile state, it may not feel safe to talk about your feelings with your partner until you reach the truth. In these cases, you may want to consider journaling, letter writing, or talking to a counselor or trainer until you can clarify how you feel. Then, you can definitely express it to your partner as they ask.

Time

Suppose you are already clear about how you feel and what you want to express. In that case, the next most important step in helping you become vulnerable is to believe in time or not. Many are affected by the same mood, or even where they are, to the extent that they respond, when their partner does not expect it.

Be transparent

If you wish to talk about some important thing, let them know. Without distractions, invite your partner to sit with you and then let them know that you want to talk about some essential things. Let them know that you are afraid of being vulnerable in front of you. Clearly talk about your emotional process, and how important it is for you to be emotionally safe with them.

Fight the fear

If you start to feel scared or close when you talk about your emotions, you can say it out loud. Remind yourself (perhaps, your partner too) that the harder it is to “get there” the harder it is to find a deeper, closer connection. Be bold and honest. You may even consider saying out loud that what you are saying is scary or hard. Even exposing it to your partner may make you feel lonely and help them to be the most vulnerable you can be.

Help your partner to be a good listener

When you share your inner feelings, your partner should know that you should not “fix”, or your Problems need to be solved. The goal is not a resolution, but a connection. Suppose you are communicating publicly with your partner about things that will help you feel safe to share. It will lead to easier, more cordial communication and the emotional security you both want.

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